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17-Jun-2015 05:31

So yes you want men to pursue you, and if you are confident this will naturally happen, but you don’t want to intentionally get him to chase you because this is just neediness all dressed up.

When you are truly confident and independent, he won’t take you for granted, he won’t vanish for days at a time, he won’t tell you he “doesn’t want a relationship” and continue treating you as girlfriend anyway – instead, he will lock it down because he’ll be too scared someone else will snatch you up if he doesn’t!

When you are so desperate for his approval and so accommodating to his schedule, then he doesn’t feel a need to step up or lock you down because…why should he?

What it really comes down to is being a woman who values herself and is confident in who she is.

When your happiness is rooted in all sorts of things, not just him, you will never have to watch what you say or do for fear of coming off as needy because you will never be needy.

MORE: A Guy’s Take on Neediness I met this guy years ago, let’s call him Craig.

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Since you are living your life and aren’t relying on his approval to make you happy, he automatically steps up and tries to carve space for himself in your life.My schedule was more flexible than his so it made sense that I should work around his schedule, right?While in theory that makes sense, in reality, Craig started pulling away more and more.He was a bartender at a restaurant I used to frequent and after several flirty exchanges, he finally asked for my number.On the night of our first date, I had to delay our meeting time by a few hours because I forgot I was supposed to be having dinner with some friends.

Since you are living your life and aren’t relying on his approval to make you happy, he automatically steps up and tries to carve space for himself in your life.My schedule was more flexible than his so it made sense that I should work around his schedule, right?While in theory that makes sense, in reality, Craig started pulling away more and more.He was a bartender at a restaurant I used to frequent and after several flirty exchanges, he finally asked for my number.On the night of our first date, I had to delay our meeting time by a few hours because I forgot I was supposed to be having dinner with some friends.So go out there and do your thing, be happy without him (whether him is in the picture or not), and let him be the icing on your perfect cake, rather than the flour, the eggs, the sugar and whatever other ingredients go into making a cake!